Tell me, are you a Nancy or a Nathan?
I am really hoping that you are one of the two.
And I will explain why, in a minute.
You know, as we go through life we see a lot of ups and downs. These ups and downs could be because of wrong choices we make as human beings. Or, it could just be a change in your situation because of external reasons, reasons you had no control over. Like when you are driving to work and you come across red lights all the time, or you come across unusually heavy traffic, and miss an important meeting.
Whatever the reason, we all have been there at least once (or more) through our life.
When we go through the down period in our life, we tend to become paranoid. We cannot help but think how everything could go pear shaped, anytime. All our negative experiences tend to create a fear in us. This fear then rears its head every time we are about to do something and, we tend to expect similar results, as we did earlier. This expectation or feeling then gets ingrained in our psyche and we get stuck in this never ending cycle of negative expectation and negative results. And then we start overthinking and fall into this spiral of negative self-talk, and find it really hard to get out of it.
If you are such a person who cannot help themselves but look at the worst possible scenario for every life situation, then you are the person I am looking for.
I am glad you are reading this article right now because you will be thanking me in a little while.
Look, we can not control our life but, ‘we can control the way we react to our life situations’.
Our thoughts and feelings are more powerful than we realise. They have the power of creating our reality.
Have you noticed how people who complain and whinge all the time tend to have more problems and more reasons to keep complaining? It is because they talk about their problems all the time and keep attracting more of those problems or situations to themselves all the time.
If you start whinging every time you get a bill in the mail or something goes wrong in the house, you will end up making things worse, not just for yourself but for your whole family.
My question to you is – Does whinging and going on about how bad things are, help you in anyway? You might think that it does, but it actually doesn’t. Sure enough you feel lighter after discussing your problem with your near and dear ones, but it turns negative when you repeatedly go back to the same problem. And, it gets annoying for the person who has to listen to it every day.
You need to remember, when you talk about the same things repeatedly, you put the focus on it again and again. And when you focus on something, it comes back to you.
‘When you focus on something, the universe sends more of it your way’.
So, if you focus on the negatives, you will receive more of negative experiences in life.
It is that simple.
When you focus on things that make you happy, you will automatically receive more happiness, and you will create a better life for yourself and your loved ones ~ Shelly Singh
I saw a beautiful video the other day, of a young boy talking about this concept. I will try and share the video with all of you if I can.
In this video he said that if you practice something, you become good at it. So, if you practice complaining all the time, you will eventually become really good at it.
And when you are good at it, you will attract more of it.
Does it make sense? Please leave a comment and let me know what you think.
So. Let’s listen to our own talk and notice how we speak. Or just pay attention to the people near you and focus on the way they speak.
Is it positive or negative?
Do you/they criticise others all the time?
Do you/they complain about everything?
Once you are aware of what constitutes as negative talk, the next step would be to change the way you phrase your sentence. Try and rephrase a negative sentence into a positive one.
I know it is very easy to fall into the habit of complaining and whinging, and I think most of us complain without realising it.
We complain about the weather, it is either too cold or too hot.
We complain about the driver in front of us, he or she is either going too fast or too slow.
We complain about our jobs, the television programs, the government, our children, our partners etc.
Today, I am going to ask you to do one thing.
I am going to ask you to pay attention to yourself and try and see how often you complain.
You might say that you are a very positive person. Surely, you don’t complain!
But let me assure you that we all complain, some more than others, but we all complain.
I am also sure you will be surprised at how often you do complain 😉
Once you start paying attention to your thoughts and your attitudes, you will then be able to curb the negative talk and thinking.
Start focussing on the positives. Be grateful for what you have rather than focusing on what you don’t have.
Just a simple change in your mindset and your speech can actually change your life ~ Shelly Singh
Do you remember the age old saying, “If you don’t have anything nice to say about someone, don’t say anything”? Well, I would like everyone of you to apply this principle in life.
And, if you are one of those lucky people who hardly complain about anything, kudos to you. You are already creating a wonderful life for yourself.
Try and look at the bright side of every situation. Think of ways to say things in a positive way.
Remember, our words are very powerful ?.
We create our own future by the words we use everyday ~ Shelly Singh
This might sound a bit ominous to most of you but it is so true.
Once you start paying attention to your words, you will see the shift in your life. Use this in your day to day activities. No matter how bad a situation may be, just focus on a positive outcome.
Instead of thinking what could go wrong, think of what you want to happen. Once you have the positive outcome in your mind the next step would be to state it.
Focus on the positive outcome that you want (to happen) and say it loud and clear ~ Shelly Singh
State your intention, i.e. what you want the outcome to be, and say it out loud or just repeat it in your head over and over again.
If you focus on the positive outcome, the result will go in your favour.
Like I said before, it takes time and effort to make this shift.
Start by using positive language in your daily routine. You will be amazed at how much negative talk is involved in our day to day communication. We do not realise it till we start paying attention to it. Pay attention when you are talking to your children, asking them to do their homework or asking them to be careful while driving their car. Have you ever used harsh, negative words like, you will flunk if you do not sit and study, or don’t run over anyone while driving.
A lot of times we use these sentences jokingly, but if you realise the power of your own words, you will never use these kinds of words ever again.
Get rid of the negative statement and the way you finish off your sentence. Stop yourself just before you say the last bit of a sentence, where you describe what will happen… ?. Think how you can rephrase a negative sentence.
Let me give you an example.
Your son is running around inside the house.
Your instant reaction is, ‘Don’t run or you will get hurt’.
This sentence has a negative connotation to it, right?
You are not only putting your focus on ‘getting hurt’, you are also describing what will happen, and sure enough your child runs into a table and hurts himself.
Is that a coincidence?
I don’t think so.
Remember, you get what you focus on!
Now let’s see how you can rephrase this sentence?
You could just say,
‘Can you please walk inside the house?’ Or
‘Please slow down’ or ‘
‘Be careful’.
When you use these statements you take the negative out of it. And, another important thing you are doing is, you are creating a positive outcome.
It will obviously take time and a conscious effort on your part for this shift to happen, but if you keep practicing it, you will change your habit soon.
You will not only be creating a positive environment for yourself but your family as well.
Here’s wishing all of you a smoother and more beautiful life ?.
Lots of love.
Shelly Singh ?
Feng Shui Consultant
Canberra, Australia
Phone: +61 448 468 968
Email: shellysingh168@gmail.com
Facebook: Blooming Mushroom International Feng Shui
Instagram: @shellysingh168
Twitter: @shellysingh168